Sunday, December 24, 2017
Holiday Jeer
The winter holidays are supposed to be filled with excitement, cheer, happiness, good-will-to-all-men, and all that other shtick.
But this year, I'm just not feeling it.
It would be easy to chalk it up to all the stress in my life recently: a new job that radically changed my daily routine, household appliances and furniture that have suddenly decided to start breaking, and illnesses in the family.
Yup, 2017 has been quite the eventful year, and not always in a good way.
But the truth of the matter is that it's not the stress. I've been feeling this way for a while.
I'm not quite at the point yet where I'm Bah-humbugging everyone who wishes me a Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah and New Year. It's just that this time of year doesn't seem "feel" the same way it used to.
Yes, I'm Jewish, and don't celebrate Christmas, but I used to enjoy the season. All the decorations, excitement and anticipation in the air was truly contagious. Only now I just don't feel it anymore.
Okay, I admit it. A good part of that was about gifts: looking forward to getting the toy, gadget or tool, I really wanted or couldn’t afford. There was even a certain thrill that came from the last-minute rush of trying to find that "perfect" affordable gift for someone else.
But over the last couple of years, I haven't felt any of that.
When my wife or others have asked me what I wanted for the holidays (or my birthday for that matter), I’ve been answering "I don't know."
Maybe it's because I've finally reached a point in my life where I'm earning enough money to splurge on those "toys" that I used to lust after. Case in point is the large screen TV I just bought for myself and wrote about last month.
Of course, I could try putting off those purchases, to see if the anticipation of getting them as a gift would return some of the "old magic" to the holiday season.
But I doubt it.
You see many of the things I want -- like my 25 x 25 workshop -- are way too expensive for anyone to get me as a gift. And now that I'm able to afford many of the things I want (except that workshop), putting off their purchase for several months just to try to regain a fleeting feeling at the end of the year seems pointless, especially if it's for a project I want to work on right away.
The other irony I noticed as of late, is that while I can now afford all the stuff I used to want when I was younger, I realize that I don't need it. I have enough things and aside for trying to find the room to store that new item, I've come to realize that the stuff I do have is sufficient for my current needs. In fact, lately I feel like I have too much stuff and need to get rid of some of it.
Yup, looks like despite my best efforts, I've finally become an adult, and have realized the season is not about getting presents but giving them. Only getting things for others, no longer seems as exciting as it used to.
I'd like to think that online shopping has made the process too easy and less social. There's no need to go out and mingle with hundreds of other excited shoppers when you can finish all your holiday shopping in 15 minutes on Amazon.com and not have to leave the comfort of your own sofa. Then there's the fact that everyone and their brother just wants gift-cards.
Don't get me wrong. I understand they allow the gift-getter to go out and buy exactly what he or she wants, instead of receiving something that’s not-quite what they desired. But it seems so impersonal....
Sigh...
Maybe the holidays are just supposed to be for the young and once you've reached a certain age you're not supposed to enjoy them as much anymore.
That's kind of a profound thought to have on Christmas Eve.
Yet when all is said and done, it's not exactly a sad one.
I may not be feeling jolly as of late, but I am content with what I do have: my health, a loving family and good friends. I also do kind of look forward to spending a peaceful, quiet evening at home. While my wife’s away celebrating the holiday with her family, I plan to spend my evening on the couch, with my dog at my feet and Chinese takeout in my hand, watching the "Star Wars" movies I got for Chanukah and hoping to avoid a few late-night visits from three very unruly spirits.
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