Friday, June 30, 2017

Being certifiable ain't all it's cracked up to be

Copyright: Scott Adams / "Dilbert"
“Hey! What are you doing to my wall?” asks the Elder Geek, walking up behind me.

“I’m just hanging this,” I reply showing him a shiny new certificate, fresh off my color laser printer.

The Elder Geek squints as he takes the framed piece of paper from my hands and peruses it.

“VMware is proud to award the title of VMware Certified Professional 6 Data Center Virtualization to Blue Scream of Jeff,” he reads aloud. “You know in my day, being certifiable wasn’t something to be proud of….” he grumbles handing me back my hard-earned certificate.

“I wasn’t even aware computers had been invented back in your day,” I reply just as snarkily.

The Elder Geek frowns in the way only a curmudgeon like him can. “Well they were, Mr. Smartypants! They were just called abacuses back then, and you needed a lot more than some piece of paper to know how to use one! So just what exactly does being a whatever-it-is certified professional mean?”

I go on to explain to him about how this software allows you to run multiple computers and servers all on one piece of hardware instead of needing an individual piece of hardware for each server or computer and how it makes managing a modern datacenter much easier. Since servers or computers are no longer tied to a particular piece of hardware, they can be shifted around in the event of hardware failure, ensuring fault tolerance and keeping them almost always available to users.

The Elder Geek nods appreciatively. “Sounds complicated.”

“Oh it is!” I enthuse. “Conceptually it’s really simple. Just like picking up a poker chip off one table and moving it to another. But with all things IT, the devil is in the details, and it’s not an easy task to get the whole thing to work properly and efficiently.”

Again the Elder Geek nods. He may be old, but he’s been to the IT Rodeo before. He knows that nothing in IT is ever as easy as it sounds.

“So how many years did it take you to earn this certification?” he asks.

“Ummm…. A week,” I mumble into the floor.

A week? A WEEK!” he asks incredulously.

“Yeah,” I say. “But it was a really long, intense week. Twelve to 14 hour days in class and studying…. And we had to pass two tests. And they were really hard!”

The Elder Geek just shakes his head. “So you spend a week – sorry, an INTENSE week – studying this stuff and then had to answer some 120 multiple choice questions and I’m supposed to believe that’s going to make you an expert on this stuff?”

“Well according to the industry, I am!” I say defending myself. “That’s all hiring managers want to see anymore. They think all those certifications mean you know what you’re doing! If you don’t got ’em, you can’t even get your foot in the door!”

“Phooey!” The Elder Geek snorts. “All that piece of paper means is that you know how to pass a test! It doesn’t prove you know how to make things work in the real word outside a lab environment! I don’t care how good their simulations are, but no programmer can replicate the kind of havoc and failures real users can cause! It also doesn’t prove you know how to solve those oddball problems that always seem to come at you from out of the blue! Only years of experience can teach you that! I’d rather have a dozen techs or engineers with years of problem solving experience under their belts and a proven ability to think their way out of problems than a single one of your “certified pros” who only knows how to do what they showed him or her in some class! I can teach them the other stuff,” he rants.

“Look kid, I don’t mean to rain on your parade. I’m sure you worked really hard to lean all that and pass those tests. But don’t believe all that industry hype. Getting that piece of paper doesn’t make you a pro. It just means you’re a journeyman. You’re now only just competent to work on that equipment with that software. Maybe in a few years after you’ve been through the ringer and problem solved your way out of a few near disasters, will you be able to call yourself a pro…

“Now, give me that hammer and nail, before you put anymore holes in my wall.”


DISCLAIMER: I want to make clear that I do NOT think that these certifications serve no value. They do. They help us IT folks learn new skills and keep up with the ever-changing nature of our business. But employers need to realize that there is no substitute for experience, and just because you don't have a piece of  paper saying you're an expert in something, doesn't mean you aren't an expert. And for the record, while I only just earned my VMware certification this month, I have worked with VMware for the last few years in addition to have 20-plus years experience as a tech. 

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